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You Don’t Need More Confidence (Here’s What You Might Need Instead)

Whether you’re starting a brand new adventure or you’re shifting course down an already beaten pathway, change can be a scary thing.

And when it comes to making a new start with an old endeavor, it carries a particular kind of fear-based baggage.

You might worry about what people will say. Will it make you look like a flake? Does it make you feel embarrassed because the first try was a flop? Or do you just feel like an honest to goodness failure?

If you’re feeling any of those things, trust me. You are not crazy.

I’m making a fresh start in my business right now. So even though I’m not starting over altogether, the key pivots and changes make it feel like a new beginning.  

Fresh starts can be intimidating, for sure. How do I know this? Not only from personal experience but also from I’ve learned from my clients over the years.

Most of my clients are convinced that it’s confidence they need to make a new start. They tell me that they don’t speak up. They don’t take enough action. And why? Because they just don’t have the confidence.

I always tell them the same thing in return. It’s not the confidence they’re lacking. Truth to tell, they need something else to make a big leap toward a fresh start…

And that thing is?

Courage.

Courage comes before confidence. And believe it or not, this is actually good news! Here’s why…

Think about confidence for a moment. Most of the time, we see confidence as something you either have or you don’t.

Courage, on the other hand, is much more within your control. It’s a skill that anybody can develop.  And the best part of all?

It’s courage that ultimately leads to confidence!

So let’s take a look at courage, and how it helps you take the reins and charter a new path toward a fresh start!

Like I said before, fresh starts aren’t quite the same as brand new beginnings. They often make you feel like you’re going down a path that you already tried–and failed.

Sometimes there’s a lot of emotional weight. The feelings of failure, embarrassment, maybe even resentment.

Add to that the idea that things “should’ve” turned out differently than they did, and you’ve got a lot of mental and emotional clutter to unpack.

Then there’s the obvious tripwire that goes along with anything new–uncertainty. Is this fresh start you’re contemplating the right thing? What if things flop the way they did the last time? What if it all falls apart…again?

But the truth is uncertainty is just a part of life. Nobody ever knows what’s coming next.

The only way you’ll ever know is if you actually take action.

For example, this past year I ran a group coaching program called “Groove School.” And just last month, I retired it.

Was the program a “failure?” 

I guess that depends upon who you ask. If you ask me (and yes, in this situation only my opinion actually matters) it wasn’t even close to one.

Not only did I learn a lot about myself and the direction I want to take my business, I had the pleasure of helping many women make massive changes in their lives.

Did I know what was going to happen before I started Groove School? Of course not. Do I regret the time I spent on the program now that it’s drawing to a close? Not in the least.

I wouldn’t be poised and ready to take a new direction in my business had it not been for Groove School. And Groove School never would’ve happened in the first place if I would’ve just sat there ruminating about whether or not to give it a try.

What made me finally take the leap and get it started? Courage. And that courage led the confidence that is guiding me down a brand new path in my business.

So today I’m sharing four major ways that courage is the key to big leaps and fresh starts. And why courage is the only way to get what you think you need the most–confidence.

Number One: Courage helps you take ACTION.

Maybe you might believe that at some point down the road when you’re rich, famous, the perfect size, or in the best shape of your life, you won’t have any fears anymore.

If only that were true!

Fear will pop up many times along your pathway (“new level, new devil,” as they say). It’s a constant companion in every journey, no matter who you are or what you’ve accomplished.

We can’t “out-succeed” fear.

The difference is whether or not you choose to let the fear stop you indefinitely, or you take a step forward with courage.

The key is to feel that fear and move through it anyway. And you do that by simply taking action.  

When you’re feeling that sting of fear, the only thing that squelches it is an action step. No matter how big or how small.

And what gives you that nudge to take action? Courage. So courage plus action is the first step to a fresh start.

Number Two: Courage helps you follow your heart and your intuition.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a recovering people pleaser. We’re talking about spending many years worrying about what others want, and not near enough focusing on my own passion and purpose.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not saying that your friends and loved ones don’t care about what’s best for you. It’s just that a lot of the time, they’re the first to point out all of the pitfalls of your big dreams and plans.

Sometimes the people who love you the most can steer you off of your path with their worried advice. They might say things like, “you’ve already tried that and it didn’t work…are you sure?”

Courage is the thing that helps you say, “Why YES, I am!”

Because in the end, you can’t let well-meaning but fear-based advice dictate your next move.

Getting your bravery on helps you connect to your heart, intuition, and your personal truth. And from there, start down the path to the new start you want to create!

Number Three: Courage helps you embrace uncertainty.

I bet you know the “comfort zone” concept. Your comfort zone is a place that feels familiar and easy, but there’s a catch.

Sure, it might feel comfortable, but it never changes. It doesn’t challenge you to grow. You may always know what’s going to happen, but you’ll never go further than you already are.

With change of any kind, be it a fresh start or a brand new game, uncertainty is par for the course. And when uncertainty strikes, your comfort zone takes notice.

If you’re wavering about taking an unbeaten path because you can’t be sure of the turns it will take, well, guess what? You’re in good company! Everyone else who is contemplating a big change is in the same boat.

If you want to grow, you have to take some risks. You’ve got to embrace the uncertainty. And courage is the thing that helps you do both!

Number Four: Courage helps you break free of perfectionism and just DO it.

Ever considered yourself a perfectionist? I know I have! And here’s what I’ve discovered about that particular personality trait…

Perfectionists want to wait until everything is perfect before we make decisions. We want to wait until we have it all figured out we’ve mitigated every possible risk.

Am I right?

As an admitted perfectionist, I’ve learned that nobody ever has it 100% figured out.  What I’ve also discovered is that putting off your next move in the name of “perfectionism” is oftentimes more about fear than anything else.

I have yet to find a way to let go of perfectionism altogether. But I have learned is that you can feel that perfectionist fear and take the next step anyway.

And what’s the antidote for fear? Courage, of course!

In the end, courage helps you trust your intuition, embrace the unknown, and blast past perfectionism by taking action!

So you might think that you need confidence. But when you take a courageous step forward, the confidence starts showing up. When you let courage be your guide, confidence becomes the outcome.

And courage and confidence together build character!

So whatever your fresh start entails, my challenge to you is this: think of one courageous thing you can do today to move your fresh start forward. Instead of beating yourself up for not having the confidence, opt for courage instead.

Because the more courageous you are now, the more confident you’ll become. And once you decide to choose courage, you become unstoppable.

So what is one courageous step that YOU can take today to get your fresh start started? Leave me a comment and let me know!

And if you want to be in a club that will support you in taking your next courageous step, I invite you to join us in The Groove Seekers Community.

Being courageous doesn’t have to be lonely.

 

 

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